35 Tried and True Ways to Keep Your Sanity While He’s Deployed

By Janet Farley

Maybe you’ve been there, done that and earned a number of deployment t-shirts already. Perhaps not.  In any event, a little inspiration designed to see one through the long haul never hurts.
 
Use and abuse the following tips, not listed in any particular order of importance, to help you make that the time in between the times that matter the most to you go by just a little faster.
 

1. Be a joiner in your unit’s family readiness group. There, you will not only find the support and friendship of others sharing the same experience, but you will also be among the first to learn of any noteworthy news.
2. Enroll in a certificate or degree program. You will not only keep busy with the books but you will be making yourself more marketable for the future as well. Research military spouse-specific scholarships and grants to defray the cost.
3. Perfect the art of rollerblading. Or quilting. Or antiquing. Try whatever you think may bring you inner happiness and do it shamelessly.
4. Train to run a marathon or walk around the mall five times.
5. Lose that last 10 pounds once and for all. And just in time for homecoming.
6. Befriend the new girl in the unit. She needs it.
7. Go shopping but don’t go crazy shopping. You don’t need more debt.
8. Try on a new haircut or color for a change.
9. Be an everyday hero by volunteering to help out in your community. 
10. Email your loved one every day. Tell him how much you love him, miss him and can’t wait for him to come home.
11. Avoid sequestering yourself away from the general public. It’ll just bring you down.
12. Ask for help when you need it and know that everyone needs it sometimes.
13. Don’t overbook yourself in the name of keeping busy. You’ll only stress yourself out more.
14. Just breathe. Breathing is good. In. Out. In. Out. Lower that heart rate and repeat “this too shall pass.”
15. Plan a girl’s night out and make enjoying yourself the number one priority.
16. Take up that a new hobby.
17. Live your life and avoid sitting by the phone in hopes of his call. He will call. You may be there, or you may not, but he will call again.
18. Make a care package and send to your sweetheart. Include gifts, letters and pictures from his darling offspring.
19. Read the classics or get your fill of mindless junk, whichever works for you.
20. Rent and watch every chick flick you’ve ever wanted to, but haven’t seen yet.
21. Resist the urge to move back home with your parents. Visit them instead. It will make everyone happier in the long run.
22. Plan a trip to someplace you’ve always wanted to go and do it.
23. Get a new job or get yourself promoted on your old one.
24. Keep your sweetie in everyone's thoughts and conversations daily even if he can't be there in person.
25. Don’t be a news junkie. It will just make you crazy.
26. Save money towards a particular goal for your family or just for the two of you.
27. Send him a spicy letter with a one redeemable coupon for _________ (you fill in the blank).
28. Do something nice for yourself once a week without fail. Have your nails done. Get a massage. Splurge on a pedicure.  Eat out a nice restaurant. You deserve it.
29. Focus on your kids if you have them. They need the most now.
30. Accept that some days will just suck, some worse than others, and get on with it.
31.  If you don’t live near an installation and think everyone around you is clueless about life in the military, clue them in.
32. Start a journal and faithfully record your thoughts, feelings, fears and joys.
33. Create a countdown calendar and enjoy seeing each day pass that brings you closer. This might be especially helpful for younger children who don’t quite have a grasp on the concept of time.
34. Accept that he won’t always sound happy when you do hear from him.
35. Dig way down deep inside of yourself and know that you will make it through this tough time.
    
    Janet Farley, Ed.M Freelance writer specializing in Careers & Workplace Issues Author, The Military Spouse's Complete Guide to Career Success (Impact Publications, Jan 2008) and The Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide (Jist Inc). Visit my website at www.janetfarley.com