October 28, 2008 
So you've just moved (again), you've gotten the family settled and, well, it's lonely. It's time to start building a community around you and your family.
Where to start? so many women ask. It's not as easy anymore without the "insta-community" wives used to have available in the form of Spouse Clubs. Spouse Clubs membership has declined for many reasons, both good and bad.
First, with over 91% of enlisted wives working outside the home, wives are too busy with their jobs and families to participate in Spouse Clubs. These same wives may be reluctant to join Spouse Clubs anyway since some Clubs are more oriented toward stay-at-home moms and aggravate the old debate about whether to work or be a homemaker. I don't need to mention that Spouse Clubs sometimes earn the reputation of harboring gossip-mongers, and Spouse Club leaders may need to reassess their approach to Club management.
One of the worst reasons, however, for the decline of Spouse Clubs these days is that no one wants to be a "joiner". The cultural phenomenon of everyone stressing their independence and self-sufficiency contrasts directly with the need to build communities of people with common interest.
We as military wives need to ask ourselves: Is this a healthy attitude for me and my family given that we will relocate every three years and given that relocation tops the charts of "most stressful" lists? You will not only benefit personally, but by building a network around yourself you can help your husband and kids become acquainted with new friends. Everyone knows the benefits of having friends around to support you in difficult times, the question is how to go about it.
Spouse Clubs are the most obvious beginning toward building a community around you because they focus on a common interest: women living and/or recently moving to a military base. However, there are many other types of organizations that may peak your interest. You can find your local spouse clubs in your base newspaper, from the command, or by visiting CinCHouse.com's Spouse Club Hub web sites. Additionally, consider looking into the following opportunities:
* Book clubs
* Philanthropic organizations such as homeless shelters and educational mentors, or the Junior League
* Fitness clubs for tennis, golf, hiking, biking and SCUBA diving
* Women's networking groups like the local Women's Chamber of Commerce or local professional organizations
* Kids playgroups (Gymboree has classes for babies as young as 3 months)
* Local government recreational offerings such as writing workshops and art classes
* Investment and finance clubs
* Go back to school
Check your local newspaper, library or book store for notices of upcoming meetings.
Finally, remember what is like to move to a new base. Introduce yourself to new neighbors and support community organizations. Your good deed may come back to help you some day.