October 28, 2008 
By Jacqueline Bodnar
Nearly every week, we see news stories about children living in conditions or situations that are horrendous. Only rarely, however, do we follow up on what happens to the child beyond that moment. Instead, we watch with sadness, hoping that justice prevails and that there’s a system in place to help those children in need. The good news is that there is such a system in place, but it doesn’t work without thousands of people across the country opening their homes to children they have never met before. These are foster families.
Every day, foster families welcome children into their homes and lives, if only for a brief time. No matter when they get the call, these families do what many of us have thought about doing without ever taking the leap. If you are considering becoming a foster parent, there are several things you need to be aware of first. That way, you go in with eyes wide open, having some idea of what to expect from the process.
Who’s In Foster Care?
According to the National Foster Parent Association (NFPA), there are approximately 542,000 children in the foster care system in the United States. The number of licensed non-relative foster homes is just over 155,000. The average age of a child in foster care is 10. However, 28 percent of those in care are under the age of five. There are also a disproportionate number of children of color within the foster care system, making up an estimated 66 percent of the foster care population.
The NFPA also reports that, while the plan with 44 percent of the children is to reunite them with their parents, another 22 percent are planned for adoption, and another eight percent are slated for long-term foster care. Only five percent of all children within the foster care system are living with relatives. Another 20,000 of the children leave, each year, simply because they age out of the foster care system.
What to Consider
If these numbers are as startling to you as they are to many parents, you may start thinking about opening your home and becoming a foster parent. There’s no doubt that more good foster parents are needed. To get started, the best thing to do is to learn everything you can about fostering. Think about how it may change the dynamics of your household and your family. There may well be attachment and behavioral issues with some of the kids, so it is best to be prepared.
“I would encourage foster parents to educate themselves regarding the attachment issues that are sometimes associated with children who are fostered,” says Eliska Counce, a licensed counselor and the director of Transforming Tomorrows Counseling Center in McKinney, Texas. “Contact a counselor with a specialty in parent coaching who can help them understand what attachment disorders can mean at different stages, what to expect when a child is having attachment issues, how to spot attachment disorders and how to identify community resources to help children who struggle with attachment issues.”
It’s not uncommon for children to experience these attachment issues. Although you may welcome children with open arms, they may walk right past them, or show no emotion about it whatsoever. A good place to start is to learn all you can about your state’s foster care system, attend training, become certified, and learn everything you can about the child that will be placed with you. It’s important to know the child’s past circumstances and behaviors so that issues can be addressed appropriately.
Other Issues
“Problems can occur between children already present in the home and foster children,” says Counce. “Parents should have a full history of the foster child, including physical health issues and any emotional or behavioral symptoms that have been observed in the past.”
If you have other children in the home, it’s also important to consider how it will impact them and how it might change your relationship with them. It’s also important that you be aware of whether or not the foster children have been abused. This could also have an impact on how they interact with your other children.
“The parent would be wise to enroll any fostered child in play therapy with a licensed professional counselor, in order to help the child adjust well and avoid behavioral problems,” adds Counce.
Find More Info Online
National Foster Parent Association
www.nfpainc.org
Georgia Adoption & Foster Care
www.gaadoptionresources.org
Families First
www.familiesfirst.org
Foster Care Support
www.fostercares.org