November 24, 2009
By Meredith Leyva
Editor, CinCHouse.com
For many of us, it’s our first holiday with the new hubby, or in a new home, or with a new baby. It’s an extraordinary time of life full of possibilities that come with all new beginnings.
So take a moment to think about how you want to begin the rest of your life. You may be stuck with the traditions you start.
The obvious traditions begin with spending money on presents for hubby and the baby. Yet didn’t you complain a few months ago the Christmas has become too commercial? Didn’t you swear that you would help your kids focus on the ‘reason for the season”? Even if you don’t celebrate the religious holiday, surely it’s not healthy to support a lifestyle of unreasonable spending during the holiday season. The gifts you buy the baby now may be small and inexpensive, but as children grow they will expect larger and more expensive gifts. This first Christmas is your opportunity to establish expectations. If you provide one big gift from you, one gift from Santa and little items in the stocking, you will be setting a far more reasonable expectation for the future Christmases when the big gift being requested is not a dolly but a 10-speed bike.
Set similar expectations for exchanging gifts with your hubby. No matter how broke you are in the future, one gift should be exchanged or resentment will build. It’s just as important to agree each Christmas how many gifts will be exchanged and how much will be spent. This will not only help you manage the budget, but it will establish balance. Nothing is worse than when one person showers the other with gifts but receives little in return.
Activities is another area for establishing reasonable expectations, and you need to sit down with your hubby in advance to decide what is worth doing. Will you go to church on Christmas eve or Christmas day – or at all? How will you teach your children about Christmas? Will you focus your activities on baking and decorating the house or will you spend most of it shopping? Will you throw an annual party? Finally, will you invite the entire family to the house, or travel to the in-laws, or will you share these precious moments within your little family?
These little decisions determine how hectic or quiet your schedule will be during this Christmases and many Christmases in the future. This is a wonderful time of new traditions, so think carefully about what you want.