February 15, 2010 
By Janet Farley
February may be the month of love in most circles, but not in all. Far too often, life happens and marriages once made in heaven take the express elevator directly to the burning fires of hell.
It is an unfortunate fact of life in nearly 50% of civilian marriages and it should come as no surprise that military marriages are far from immune. In fact, recently published statistics indicate that the military divorce rate is rising, up one percent from last year to 3.6% among active duty service members and up to 2.8% rate among Reservists.
So much for happily ever after.
When the big D or hint of it rears its ugly head to you or a BFF, there are some basic facts of life with which you should begin to familiarize yourself.
Fact 1: Divorce sucks. If you have children, it double sucks. The bottom line here is that if your relationship is worth saving, try to save it. You can ask for and get help from a number of support sources within the military community. Visit your family center or chaplain’s office to learn about outreach programs, support groups and marriage enrichment programs. Once upon a time, you thought each was worthy of a lifetime commitment. Perhaps all is not lost. Try to work yourself back to that point in time again or at least to new point where you can begin to appreciate each other once again.
Fact 2: Sometimes divorce is unavoidable. Perhaps domestic violence is involved or your simple basic right to be happy in life is at stake. Maybe the time has come to simply close the chapter on your fairy-tale gone bad. As painful as it may be, it just may have to be.
Fact 3: You will be angry, sad and scared at the same time. You might even be elated somewhere in between, but the point is that this will not be an easy time for you, your spouse and certainly not for any children you have between you. Do your best to keep a level head and a strategically shut mouth when appropriate. Take the high road and focus on making a better life for yourself and your family, minute-by-minute, if necessary.
Fact 4: You need get a lawyer, experienced in military divorce. If you have given it your best effort or if it is in you and your family’s best interest to get a divorce for whatever reasons, go to the on-installation legal office or JAG, first. A military lawyer will most likely not be able to represent you in a court of law, where the divorce must take place, but he or she may still be able to provide you with advice and referrals to a lawyer(s) who can represent you.
Fact 5: And, the legal office may be able to save you some cash along the way. The military legal office can prepare a separation agreement for you and your spouse to sign. If you and your spouse can agree upon how to dissolve your marriage and get it in a written agreement then the actual divorce may not be as long, as expensive or as painful as it could be. Play fair. Be grown-ups. Move on.
Fact 6: You may be entitled to a portion of your spouse’s military retirement pay assuming you do not remarry or co-habitat with another partner. To learn more about your potential after marriage benefits, become familiar with the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act (Title X) (USFSPA), also known as Public Law 97-252, (September 1982). Check with your legal advisor for more information.
In a nutshell, here are some important points of the USFSPA:
• The USFSPA permits, but doesn’t require, state courts to divide military disposable retired pay as marital property between parties in a divorce action. What is defined as disposable pay is that retirement pay amount less any amounts due otherwise for any number of reasons (which are spelled out in the Act itself).
• The USFSPA permits DFAS to make direct payments to former spouses from a retiree’s disposable retiree pay for division of retired pay as marital property, alimony, child support or a combination of the three. The amount may not exceed 50% except when the retiree’s pay is also subject to garnishment at which point not more than 65% can be paid.
• To qualify for direct payment, a former spouse must have been married to the service member for 10 years or ore during which credible military time was served. There is no length of marriage requirement to qualify for direct payment from retired pay for child support or alimony.
• If your marriage lasted at least 20 years and the service member served at least 20 years credible service for retired pay and the marriage overlapped credible service for retired pay by 15 years or more then, you may be eligible to an ID card, medical, commissary and exchange privileges.
• If you remarry, your privileges end. If your remarriage ends in death or divorce, then commissary, exchange and theater benefits are reinstated. Medical benefits, however, are not. When you become eligible for Part A of Social Security Medicare benefits, then any CHAMPUS/Tricare benefits also end.
Related Resources:
DFAS: Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act Bulletin Fact Sheet
DFAS: Garnishment of Pay Q&As
DFAS: Child Support and Alimony Fact Sheet
DFAS: Garnishments
Author of The Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide, 2nd Edition (Jist Inc, October 2009) and The Military Spouse's Complete Guide to Career Success (Impact Publications, Jan 2008).