April 01, 2010
by Jacey Eckhart
My neighborhood girlfriend is married to a teacher. Rich doesn't have one measly week off at Spring Break. This guy has two. So every day last week we got treated to CariLyn flaunting her behusbandedness in front of all of us whose partners do not have leave. We witnessed these two holding hands. Drinking coffee at the bus stop. Going off for romantic little hikes. Taking afternoon naps. Mulching. And their kids weren't home.
This, I think, is evil. Because the military doesn't dole out the Spring Breaks. Oh, I think I remember something about the recruiter saying that Brad would accumulate two and a half days of paid leave every month. I'm pretty sure we are supposed to end up with four weeks of leave every year. Yet Brad and I tend to burn all that in an orgy of moving boxes and paint cans. We do not nap. We do not flaunt. We are total idiots.
Because one of the secrets of a good military life has got to be making your service member take a Spring Break. Once you have a couple of weeks stored up on the books in case of emergency, I think it is your sworn duty as a spouse unit to make the service member (SM) take some leave.
Now some military spouses really do rock at the whole leave thing. They are great at finding travel deals and saving for vacations and visiting the family for all weddings, funerals and reunions. I personally plan out holidays months in advance. Christmas in July means: "Put in your leave chit, Honey."
So why are we so bad at enforcing a kid-free, work-free, guilt-free, two day Spring Break? I kinda think Brad and I have forgotten the true meaning of Spring Break - which is, Girls Gone Wild. I don't mean those scary drunk girls in Cancun who turn up on late night TV terrifying their parents and providing fodder for their future Presidential adversaries.
When I say Girls Gone Wild, I mean, say... me. Getting wild. Me being so intoxicated by daffodils and cherry blossoms and green grass and blue sky that I don't want to do any of the normal things I have to do. That I want to blow off work and do something that involves the sun and lazing about with Brad - if Brad is, in fact, capable of lazing. Which I have never seen, but I fully believe he is capable of accomplishing.
See, that's what leave is made for. Not as an asset you sell back at the end of your career. Not as a day your SM can fertilize the grass and clean out the garage. If you ask me, leave was created so that the two of you can enjoy the easy freedom that your SM earned working weekends and duty nights and holidays and summers and snowdays during deployment.
Here are my spouse rules for a good Spring Break:
1. Pick a slow week.
Spring Break is no fun if the unit has some kind of crazy inspection or certification the next day. Also, if the unit is deployed, Spring Break ain't that fun. So save it until your SM can be there, too. Put it on the books at least a month ahead so that urgent-but- unimportant stuff can't cram it out.
2. Pick two days in the middle of the week.
Because of the whacky leave rules, if your SM takes leave on the days around the weekend, you gotta count the weekend as part of your leave, burning up two extra days that your SM would have been off anyway. If you take a Tuesday and a Wednesday, your SM can check in Monday and make sure everything is pretty much good to go. Then he or she can relax Tuesday before getting all hyper about work Wednesday night.
3. Don't Ask. Don't Tell.
Do not tell anyone about your planned Spring Break. Especially your children. Children who find out about grown-up fun have a very bad habit of running fevers. Do not breathe a word of this to your mothers. Tell your bosses that you have "family matters" to attend to. Cuz you do.
4. Ignore the weather.
The good thing about Spring Break when you are already married is that sun, while welcome, is not required. If your spouse is currently deployed, plan a spring break for next fall. Or whatever. Even in the most miserable weather, a cooler and a blender and some Buffet create Spring Break.
If you need further details about how leave actually accrues, check out the easy info at Military.com: http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/military-authorized-leave
And email me jacey@jaceyeckhart.com on the down low about the Spring Break you take. I'm always interested in your tips and ideas.
Jacey Eckhart is a military/life consultant based in Washington DC. She is the author of The Homefront Club: The Hardheaded Woman's Guide to Raising a Military Family" and the voice behind "These Boots." Check out more columns and her speaking schedule at www.jaceyeckhart.com. Write her at Jacey@jaceyeckhart.com