August 20, 2010 
By Jacey EckhartThe phenomenon of Geographic Bachelors--those guys who move to their new duty station and leave their families behind--has always puzzled me. Now that Brad and I are going the GeoBach route during the next year, I'm more curious than ever.
Because there is no way that this is easier for families. It can't possibly be costing the military less money. So where is the research? Where are the numbers? Why isn't GeoBach one of those military social problems under intense scrutiny?
Got me. I had to make up my own reasons why this is one phenom the military doesn't really want to know anything about.
1.
The phrase Geographic Bachelor must sound kinda sexy. If the military acknowledges geographic bachelors, then probably everyone will want equal access to their renewed bachelorhood benefit. Too bad the part of bachelorhood they get back is the shackin' up with four other guys in a scrappy apartment courting scurvy. What a retention tool.
2.
Sad old guys shuffling around at the Q is not as interesting to scientists as battle weary warriors. GeoBach is a peripheral issue. It is often undertaken by senior NCOs and upper-level officers. These folks already have the retirement buy-in. They will suffer in silence. So why do I keep meeting more mid-level dudes going GeoBach-even after combat duty? What does that mean?
3.
Wrong name. "Geographic Bachelorhood" sounds like it happens to one person--the servicemember. That's just plain silly. We should more accurately call participants Geographic Families and acknowledge this pattern happens to the whole family.
4.
Like counting cats in a sack. Nothing is harder to count than Geographic Families. There isn't a number the DoD can pull up out of a computer. Besides what is the definition? Are you a GF if you are apart for a month? Is there a difference from being apart to go to a school than from a deploying command? Are you still GF if you have lived apart five years? Nobody knows. Nobody asks.
5.
Not enough time on earth to listen to windy explanations. There is no simple answer to why a family chooses GF. Ask the question and Geographic Families will pin you down for an hour rehearsing their entire decision including the exact amount of their mortgage, why they thought buying a house was a good idea three years ago, the educational concerns of their kids, the unit's schedule, their mom's health, blah, blah, blah. Researchers would single-handedly keep Excedrin in business.
6.
Secretly think that geographic families are in a trial divorce and don't even know it. Powers that be must think anyone who chooses to live apart on purpose must be getting divorced. Surely military people couldn't be so dumb? Or hard-pressed between greedy family and greedy career? It is so much easier to look away, Boys. Look away.
7.
Fun to pretend all duty stations are exactly the same. Some duty stations seem to incur more GF than others. This could very well be due to less desirable school systems, costly housing, proximity to opportunities for spouse employment. And how are we supposed to fix that?
8.
Civilian creep. In this economy, folks go where the job is. Sometimes this means that even in civilian families are GF. College professors take a job in Virginia when their kids are finishing high school in South Carolina. Engineers take a job in Pakistan, Iraq or Saudi Arabia to keep their toddlers in Cheerios. Moms and Dads travel every weekday and only make it home for weekends. If we wait long enough, surely some civilian person will look into how this affects families and we can just use that info.
9.
Teenage revolt. Education has always been important to people raising kids in the military culture. Now that every event in high school counts toward college acceptance, the price teens pay to change high schools because of a parent's career can be too high.
10.
Can't decide whether GF is another positive adaptation by Spartan military families. Or a bad idea. Or both. Among GF s, the consensus seems to be that the actual commute and communication and cost is awful. But after the GF tour is done, few senior families admit that it wasn't worthwhile to live apart for what they got in return. Really? I mean, really?
Being logical about Geographic Families is not easy. It is not an easy decision to make and it is not an easy decision to live with. We could sure use some better information from families of all ages who have experienced a GF tour. If you'd like to share your story or your tips, please email me at
jacey@jaceyeckhart.com. Or join the Facebook Group "Geographic Families." Let's do for each other what we can.
Jacey Eckhart is a military life consultant in Washington, DC. She is the author of "The Homefront Club" and the voice behind the award-winning CD "These Boots." Facebook Jacey or contact her at
jacey@jaceyeckhart.com.