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Jacey Eckhart Minimize
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Jacey Eckhart
Jacey Eckhart Minimize
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Krista Wells
Spouse Career Coach Minimize
Syndication
Best Interest of the Child
 I lost custody of my 9-year old son due to being a military spouse," wrote Chrystal Neely in a recent email. Full story.

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Military Spouse Employment Partnership
The Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP) is the new DoD job program for military spouses. The DoD has already vetted 96 corporate partners like SAIC, Amazon, AT&T, 3M and George Mason U. Full story.

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Putting in the Laps
When you are so worried that you don’t know what to do next, when you are pacing, when the thought of the safety of your family member is with you ever minute, then you need to be deliberate every single day. Full story.

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Courage in the Garden of the Forking Path
This “garden” was first described in a 1941 short story by the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges. In his story, Borges describes a learned man who is instructed to renounce his job in order to write a convex novel and construct an enormous labyrinth, "in which all men would lose their way.” Full story.

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Scrambler Defeated by The Eight-Sided Weekend
I used to claim that after deployment our family was like a merry-go-round. We had to slow the “ride” so that Brad could jump back on. Brad scoffs at that now. “This is no merry-go-round,” he snarled. “This is the Scrambler!” Full story.

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The Unbearable Disappointment of Command
Sometimes I’m still disappointed in Navy captains. Last week the Navy fired the 15th commanding officer from duty this year for crappy behavior. Full story.

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Get Your M-ployment Skills On!
Building Happily Ever After with a military dude requires spouses to master two “initial” sets of skills: D-ployment skills and M-ployment skills. And to tell you the truth, I think the M-ployment skills are harder. Full story.

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Go Away Kids (Even Though We Love You)
there is something about the delight of two. Just two. Only two. Table for two. Two sets of feelings. Two seats on the boardwalk. Two people making a life together one word at a time. Full story.

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Why lie?  Stolen Valor on a Small Scale
Where do we get the idea that “normal” military service—the kind you do day in and day out without getting shot or blowing up anything or wearing a sword—isn’t enough to remember as a worthy use of your life? Full story.

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Homecoming DOs and DON’Ts
This is my seventh homecoming (yay!) and I have my own private list of DOs and DON’Ts that the ombudsman forgot to provide that I must strive to remember. Full story.

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Why Military Spouses Don’t Work at the White House
I really want Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Biden to think about why they haven’t employed a military spouse yet. It isn’t that spouses aren’t qualified. It isn’t that we spouses aren’t present in Washington, DC. So why aren’t we working at the White House? One word, Mrs. Obama: Connectivity. Full story.

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Hard Place Decision Making
When any of us—military or civilian--must make a decision between a rock and a hard place, the fallout is pulverizing. Either choice is bound to be wrong. Full story.

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What is <em>Coming Home</em> Worth?
I love this show because my husband is deployed. The joy of Homecoming involves the real pain of months spent profoundly apart. Full story.

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Do we Really Need Military Support Groups for Male Spouses?
"War has a gender-and it is male," wrote author and essayist Virginia Woolf in 1938. Eh, I don't think that is so true today. I think Woolf might have been astounded that the husbands of those working women are the ones we now perceive as being in need of support. Full story.

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Are You a Dorothy?
Sometimes I think I ought to be wearing a blue gingham dress and sparkly red shoes. Between Michelle Obama's appearance on Oprah and the President's new initiative on military families, I feel like the Wizard has been dragged from behind the curtain and forced to pull the good stuff out of his bag. Full story.

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Deploymentality
My first thought was to blame the deployment. Because blaming the deployment is always the first step in igniting my deploymentality. Full story.

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PTSD or Not That Into You?
According to the research, those are signs of combat stress, too. But to me they also sound a lot like the ol’ He’s Not That Into You. Full story.

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How The Military Just Might Keep You Together
They didn’t stay together as a mark of endurance or because they had no other choices. Sometimes I think they stayed together because their military life taught them to respect each other. Full story.

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The Gift of Presence
Sam had plugged in a lone electric Christmas candle...the kind I usually light at dark so that the house is a glowing beacon when Brad comes home. The kind that I can't bear to light now that Brad is deployed over the holidays. Full story.

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Freeze Tag
Get ready for a load of sarcasm here. Because as a military family member I was just so excited to hear that presidential committee offered to freeze military pay and benefits for three whole years. Woo boy. I thought they would never ask! Full story.

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You Are the Reward
Think about it: How cool would it be to have someone who truly knows you—knows you well enough to clean your hair out of the drain and ignore your constant jiggling and kiss you even though you dip and spit—how cool would it be to have them love you anyway Full story.

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More Than Friends
We are their Wisconsin. We military folks become Wisconsin to each other. I don’t really know how exactly this happens. I just know I love Forrest and Merritt and Brett as if they are my blood. Full story.

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The Combat Box
Even though you may know your beloved has been part of a battalion in combat, you can’t tuck that box away on a closet shelf. This box holds your fears, your worries, your memoires, and your hopes. And you carry it in your heart. Full story.

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Commanding Officers Need Hickey Lessons
In a single month, the Navy fired the commanding officer of the USS Peleliu for unduly familiar behavior as well as the head of the telecommunications command in Bahrain because of multiple relationships with others in the command. Surely now Big Navy has got to admit that whatever they are teaching their leaders about sexual relationships is just not working. Full story.

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Top Ten Reasons Why The Military Does NOT Want to Look at Geographic Bachelors
The phenomenon of Geographic Bachelors--those guys who move to their new duty station and leave their families behind —has always puzzled me. Now that Brad and I are going the GeoBach route during the next year, I’m more curious than ever. Full story.

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Control
Keep your house in order. Control your wife. Lay down the law. These are just a few of the responses generated on military.com after the June 7 story about the colonel’s wife who barred from all interaction with the unit and family members after her actions were deemed harmful. Full story.

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MyCAA Continued
If the MyCAA program is designed to provide military spouses portable career skills that would help them find jobs after making permanent change-of-station moves, we need credentials to compete with our peers. Full story.

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Juicy Houses
Talking about houses and military - unless you are talking tragic foreclosures or privatized housing scandals - makes it sound like I'm some kind of dysfunctional hausfrau. Sounds like I'm insisting that we military spouses really must watch less "Dancing With the Stars" and more "Renovation Nation."
Full story.

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Why Is Spouse Appreciation Day Just So Awkward?
Did you miss Military Spouse Appreciation Day on May 7? Don't feel too bad about it. In most commands it is the most awkward holiday ever invented.
Full story.

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Are you a NILF?
The RAND Corporation did a study called "Measuring Underemployment Among Military Spouses." Their researchers used a new framework to get to a more accurate picture of military spouse employment.
Full story.

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Can You Take Spring Break?
One of the secrets of a good military life has got to be making your service member take a Spring Break. Once you have a couple of weeks stored up on the books in case of emergency,  I think it is your sworn duty as a spouse unit to make the service member (SM) take some leave Full story.

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Should You Get Married In Secret Before The Wedding?
For new military couples, we don't always get the idea that the military is more than just a job our mates do. It is a culture we marry into, a special set of demands. One of the best ways to handle those demands is to have a relationship marked by absolute trust. Ask anyone whose service member is deployed what trust means to them both.
Full story.

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My CAA:  The Darwinian Program That Must Survive
If 98,000 spouses are enrolled in classes to a maximum payout of $6000 each, the program has committed to $588,000,000 dollars.  That is a lot of money, and the defense budget for military spouse employment in 2010 is only $66 million. Full story.

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Feel Better Now:  The Very Practical TRIAP program
"Tricare has put together a fantastic new web-based behavioral health program that requires no authorization and no referral and no driving around.  We now can talk at home to a licensed therapist at home on your computer by chat, phone or on webcam." Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart “I’m not like those other military wives,” Lina said. “I’m not a Dependopotomus.” Every military spouse in the room gave a start of recognition. A snort of guilty laughter. A dependopotomus?? In that single word Lina captur... Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart One of my classmates said that she was thinking of marrying her sailor.  That’s why she was interested in learning more about military spouses and employment.  The professor, a noted authority on military families, turne... Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart I could almost see the little quote marks appear in the air above the word “counseling”.     “Yeah, we once got ‘counseling,’” said a thirtysomething Marine wife .  She and her husband found themselves... Full story.

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  By Jacey Eckhart   Are you trying to change the way you feel about military life?  I’m not talking about turning yourself into one of those creepy women who seem to have no life outside their service member.  I’m talking abou... Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart I’d like to sit at a table dressed in white linen.  I’d like real silver, please. White candles.  A sommelier with keys jingling at her belt.  I’d like to hand a leather-bound menu back to the waiter and say softly, “... Full story.

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A military fiancée posted this question on a Cinchouse.com forum:  What are the possible outcomes for my marriage?

Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart My girlfriend Alison and I met up for ice tea outside the Barnes and Noble last time I was in San Diego.  Now that Alison has settled the kids in sports and school, sorted out the house, and sent her husband toddling off to t... Full story.

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I’m the kind of woman who knows that if you are a military spouse and you have a few pounds to lose, you may not have a weight problem.  Instead, you probably have a “wait” problem.

Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart After eight years of war, the hurrying passengers in Savannah airport must have been used to this scene.  I was.  A military mom chased a toddler in a purple shirt.  A preschooler with tight blonde curls zoomed arou... Full story.

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My husband’s commanding officer drove a Mercedes SL convertible and it's probably the source of my husband’s mega car note. That old man’s car (or something just like it) could be the source of your military family’s overspending, too.

Full story.

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I love the parents they feature those military recruiting ads.  They show the proud mom with two boys in the Navy.  They show the reasonable mom whose daughter wants to be part of something bigger than herself.  They show military moms... Full story.

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Every time we PCS’d to a new place, my brothers would make friends first.  I would beg to be included and cry when the boys left me out.  Then my mom would call Steve and Dan inside and say, “Your friends will come and go, but you’ll know y... Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart Last week I was part of a team giving speeches to a deployed squadron that was about to head home. The chaplain prepared his ‘Ten Commandments of Homecoming’ brief.  The lady from family services dropped by to remind everybod... Full story.

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  I held the platter aloft.  If I passed it to my husband on my right, my mother-in-law would be insulted because she would get last pick of the steaks.  If I passed the platter to my mother-in-law on my left, she would be mad because... Full story.

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The school secretary scanned the group of moms sitting outside the office.  “Mrs. Ludlow?  Is there a Mrs. Ludlow?” We all looked at each other wishing Mrs. Ludlow would get a move on so we could get our own papers signed and be on our w... Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart My mom wishes that she had arranged a military marriage for me when I was 11 years old.  That way she says she would have seen my name emblazoned on the Honor Roll instead of just scrawled on the bathroom wall at a truck stop... Full story.

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By Jacey Eckhart Over the holidays, my sister-in-law told me that the economy was so bad in their area that the guys she worked with were  thinking of---gasp!---joining the military.  As if joining the military was the last sad stop on t... Full story.

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If you want me to get serious about maintaining weight during the holidays, don't just tell me to 'eat veggies' at all those command parties. Full story.

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I just don't get it. Why can't our military folks be like those people on the Starship Enterprise? I always loved those episodes in the old show when the little starship family all happily deployed in their quarters together. "I could do that," I ... Full story.

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Picture me in a huge white bathtub plopped right under an enormous window. On sunny Sunday afternoons, I fill that bad dog with bubbles, open the window and lean back until I can see the hot air balloons cresting Black Mountain. I tend to drink frost... Full story.

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