June 20, 2011 
By Jacey Eckhart
Building Happily Ever After with a military dude requires spouses to master two “initial” sets of skills: D-ployment skills and M-ployment skills. And to tell you the truth, I think the M-ployment skills are harder. Because as long as you are still breathing at the end of deployment, you can count yourself as D-ployment skilled. You know you ain’t got M-ployment skills until you have a J-O-B.
No, no. Let’s say you ain’t got employment skills until you have a C-A-R-E-E-R.
Finally, it looks like someone might agree with me. Robert Gordon, Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense, is in the news this week launching the first of a hundred hiring fairs for veterans as well as military spouses. Yay us. A hiring fair with screened employers is exactly the kind of opportunity that can help overcome some of the barriers to spouse employment. Held in conjunction with the U.S. Chambers of Commerce, the first “Hiring Our Heroes” job fair will be held at the Sony Picture Studios in Los Angeles July 10. It is such a good deal that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (Will and Kate!) will also be in attendance.
Which is kinda cool.
The thing is, that in order to really bask in this new M-ployment benefit, we military spouses have to actually ATTEND these hiring fairs.
Uh, did that statement just fill you with dread?
Did you picture yourself stumbling around on a broken heel trying to explain how you intended to be, say, a magazine editor and you have awesome clips but that you married this Marine and you’ve moved four times in the past two years and you just got to this duty station and these were the only shoes the movers didn’t steal?
Did you imagine yourself explaining the eight year gap in employment was due to your three kids and your soldier’s four deployments to Iraq and your five moves and how it has all worked out so well for your family that the kids are doing great in school and you are ready to go back to work?
Did you imagine the faces of potential employers screwing up in disbelief and disgust until they look an awful lot like the Jillian Michaels of your nightmares?
Well, stop that right now.
Self-doubt is one of those things that comes along with military life. The thing is, a few babysized M-ployment skills really will be enough to get you through.
M-ployment Skill 1: Forgive yourself. Right now just forgive yourself for not paying attention in high school. Forgive yourself for thinking that you wanted to run a prom dress design company when you couldn’t even sew very well or for doing two years in a dental hygienist program only to find out after you spent the money that you secretly think people’s mouths are nasty. Forgive yourself. Because those things really don’t matter that much in the big scheme of life. Trust me.
M-ployment Skill 2: Look up
when one of those fairs will be in your area and SIGN UP NOW. Even if you are unsure. Even if you don’t know exactly what job you are looking for. Even if your husband or wife is waiting for orders and just might be moving sometime in the next five years, sign up. You can always cancel, but space is limited at these things and you want to be there.
M-ployment Skill 3: Ask for help. Often your post or base will have a real person to sit down and practice interview skills with you. Sometimes you can just call Military Onesource (1.800.342.9647). I love these helper people. Even if you know jack nothin’ about how to put together a resume or what your patchwork of job and education means, these people want to help you get to Happily Ever After. Strong women let other women do their jobs—and bask in the benefits
M-ployment Skill 4: Let me know how it is going. I got a lot of satisfaction out of my years as a stay-home mom. I get a lot of satisfaction now that I have a job, too. I want you to have all that. Email me at Jacey@jaceyeckhart.com or Facebook me. I can be one of those women who help you the way other women helped me.
Jacey Eckhart is a military life consultant in Washington, DC. She is the author of "The Homefront Club" and the voice behind the award-winning CD "These Boots." Facebook Jacey or contact her at jacey@jaceyeckhart.com.