Ok so my husband is in the Navy and he is going IA.  This is the second deployment that the two of us have been through but its the first for our chiildren.  My daughter is going to be 3 and it is so hard on her.  We actually were fortunate enough to move home to live with my parents during the time he is deployed but it is breaking my heart to hear my daughter crying and saying me just miss my dadda.  Poor thing has had so many changes happen to her in a time frame of two months.  She went from haivng lots of girlfriends back at our duty station, to moving out of our house living in a hotel for 2 weeks to moving in with my parents daddy leaving then daddy coming home for a 2 week time to now he is gone again.  I ususally call him when she says she wants to talk to her dadda becasue right now he is in training and we can still contact him but she doesnt understand that she is not going to be able to always do that.  What are some ways to help her with getting through this deployment.  I myself know how to deal. with it because I have been through one before but I dont know how to make her understand that her best friend daddy will be back again.  ANy advice would be great.  TIA

It is difficult when they are young and you can't really explain it to them.

If possible, try to get a recordable book to him, have him read it and get it back to you. Then she can hear Dad reading to her when she wants, that can help sometimes. Depending on where he is, he may be able to Skype occasionally and she'll be able to "see" him that way.

Get her involved with care packages to Dad. Have her draw pictures to send to him. Have her help pick out what to send him, etc. It helps them when they feel involved too.

You're going to have good days and bad days and in the beginning it will probably be more bad days. But once she gets settled in at your parent's, meets some friends, has a routine, and so on it will even out a bit and she will do better for you. Try to get her involved in some play groups maybe or even pre-school part-time if that is the best way for her to have some time with other kids her age. Keep her active but don't overload her schedule either - just like you she needs a break and some down time too.

Hang in there!!!

Helping with care packages is a great idea thank you. She is going to be attending preschool in September too. I am def going to keep her as involved as I can. Thank you!!!!

My kids had videos of Daddy reading to them, mixed in with video of him playing with them. They loved that darn DVD, watched it every day and they had to have it on ALL day. If they left the room and I turned it off they got upset. They did awesome, as long as they could hear Daddy's voice. Considering they were 3 & 1 at the time I didn't care. I heard my husband's voice more that deployment than any other time. lol Sadly, they wore it out but the day it stopped working was the day that a DVD came in the mail. My husband had the opportunity to record himself reading a book (it was some program) and they sent it home. Perfect timing!

We've also have the Build a Bear workshop animals. My husband went in with them, they chose the animal together and then he recorded a bedtime message. They've had those through two deployments and even though my son is 9, he still plays it when his dad is gone.

I always would tell my kids that daddy has to work to help other people, that he misses them and loves them so much. Being around family and hopefully making new friends will help her get through the deployment. Hopefully he can call/skype often!

My sons Daddy Doll has been a life saver. He's 10 and still wants it when dad deploys. My son also has a bear with from build a bear they made together. He has pictures of them together hanging in his room. The best presents are when dad sends a dvd of himself talking to my son (he watches them over and over). Make sure your husband writes letters to your daughter (not just combining letters) and that because of her age he draws pictures in them (even if it's only stick figures). We hung my sons letters over his bed and read them at bedtime. My son also drew pictures and then wrote the letter. I always had him read what he wrote so I could provide that for his dad. I also told him daddy can feel the hugs he gives daddy doll and his bear. I've always let my son know it's okay to be sad or cry, but it's not an excuse to misbehave or not do what he is supposed to do.

In my experience it took about 3 weeks to adjust to the change, but that is 3 weeks for each major change.