Hi again ladies!

I cruise a few random websites for fun, and one is grandparents.com (I know, it's weird, so sue me). Apparently, throwing a baby shower for grandmothers-to-be is a growing trend among the baby boomer generation. The mommy-to-be is usually not invited, and the guests give Grandma what she needs to set up a nursery in her own home for the grandchild.

To be completely honest, the idea of a grandma shower leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's one thing if Grandma's friends want to throw her a congratulations party and have cocktails, and I can totally see giving cute photo frames or beautiful baby albums as gifts, but the idea of throwing a traditional baby shower and receiving items for Grandma's own personal nursery just strikes me as kind of tasteless. You know, you already had your children, you already had your baby showers, and who's to say that the baby will be spending nights at your home and need a fully decked-out nursery?

What do you think?

Wow, what will people come up with next? Puppy Parties? So someone that bought a puppy can celebrate and can get its shots and food paid for?

Wet the babies head, yes, but this is beyond abit daft to me! I think its crazy how people try to come up with crazy ideas to get gifts/money from others.

That just seems weird to me.

I just got back from a month at home wtih our families. My IL's have had 4 grandkids born in 2010 and so they converted DH's old room into a nursery. Complete with crib, changing table, dresser, day bed. Even a humidifier for when they are sick! I honestly have to say it was a life saver for us when we were staying with his family. And it was also a lifesaver for them when they babysat overnight for us lol. My mom also has a "kids" room at her house. Toddler bed, pack and play, dresser and toys. So I totally understand the want for a room specifically for grandkids.

The idea of a shower is overkill for me though. Honestly I don't see the need for any kind of party really but especially a shower with gifts and all that jazz. Becoming a grandparent is a great joy and a milestone in life but not in the same way becoming a parent is.

I never had a baby shower, and had 2 kids.

I think it's kind of tacky because most likely you are at a place in your life as a grandma-to-be that you could better afford to get what you want to have on hand for when they visit with the baby. And I could see friends and family being torn about spending for 2 showers like that. I feel the parents-to-be should get the gear.

Where I could see this "working" is a military family. So, I have a kid in the military, they are thousands of miles away, and friends and family wanted to have a shower but the mom-to-be can't travel there. They have the shower, grandma opens so everyone gets the feel of a "real" shower, then everything is packed up and shipped off to mom-to-be.

I would be uncomfortable if someone threw a shower like that for me when I was going to have any grandkids. We'll buy stuff to have on hand for visits so that our kids don't have to pack a lot of bulky stuff for their kids to come visit, but I doubt I would have a full nursery set up.

TACKY as all get out. This is actually making me like angry lol. The audacity to assume you will have someone elses child so often that they should have a room in your home is weird (point 1). Also, seriously stealing the thunder of the parents to be. How awful for family members that can only go to one shower, awkward. Also, gee way to take over someone elses child and pregnancy by not even inviting the mom to be. The baby/pregnancy is not about the grandparents. I think people in our society are far too interested in getting free things, this is getting ridiculous.

Point 1 - However, I do think it is smart as a grandparent who has many young grandchildren or is their primary babysitter to have some baby furniture on hand simply to make life easier. Such as the instances that SgtMom and Riggerwife suggested. Other than that it is weird to me. Now if a family member had extra baby furniture and the mom/dad to be declined it (for whatever reason) giving it to the grandparents might be acceptable assuming it isn't presumptive that the child will be there often.

No Way!!!!!!!! The purpose for a shower is to assist the mom to be with items she may not be able to get. I agree with SgtMom, the grandparents usually can afford things to keep at their house for the baby. I think this "grandma shower" is just something the grandma wants more than needs. Something for her to be apart of (usually she wants he same shine as the mom to be). So yeah, its totally uncecissary IMO... however, if her and her grandma girlfriends want to throw her one just to make sure grandma has all the things to keep at her house for when the baby comes may not be a bad idea i guess.... but I just know first hand how grandmas get things confused about them being just that- GRANDMA, not MOM!!!! So I guess if its grandma only and they are all equally happy she is having a grandchild, I guess i would be ok....

It definitly is good that grandparents have most of the same stuff at their home as the parents do. When DS was small, I never had to pack a thing when he came for an overnight visit to my parents house....

While I agree with grandparents needing things IF the baby will be there a lot. If my Mom had a Grandma shower, I would be MAD. Like a PP said if she wants to through a congratulations party and people give her Brag Books or what not I would be fine with, but the thought of having a full fledge shower is just wrong. What if the things the Grandma got were things the Mom didn't and needed? Would Grandma be willing to give it up?

On a side note, I could totally see my MIL doing this.

If the showers are thrown for the grandmother to be by *her* friends, why would you have a problem with it? Granted, if the grandbaby isn't going to be around a lot, then it's pointless, but those people are spending *their* money on *their* friend, and that's their business.

I think they're cute. The girls my mama works with threw her one when I had DD1. They decorated a tupperware bin and put some cute outfits in there and a 12mo frame for her and some grandma things. It was sweet.

No No No I don't like it at all. So tacky. Not only do the grandparents normally have a the means to get the baby stuff they need but I feel like it takes away from the specialness of the baby shower for the actual mom.

Posted By lauren on 13 Jul 2011 01:54 AM
No No No I don't like it at all. So tacky. Not only do the grandparents normally have a the means to get the baby stuff they need but I feel like it takes away from the specialness of the baby shower for the actual mom.

How does it take away from the actual mom if the shower is thrown for the grandma by the grandma's friends? Those aren't the mom-to-be's friends, they're the grandma's friends. 

I just think a baby shower is something special that only new moms should get.

Posted By Elizabeth on 13 Jul 2011 08:08 PM

Posted By lauren on 13 Jul 2011 01:54 AM
No No No I don't like it at all. So tacky. Not only do the grandparents normally have a the means to get the baby stuff they need but I feel like it takes away from the specialness of the baby shower for the actual mom.

How does it take away from the actual mom if the shower is thrown for the grandma by the grandma's friends? Those aren't the mom-to-be's friends, they're the grandma's friends. 

While a new baby is exciting for everyone in the family, IMO it should be about the baby and the parents.  The grandparents already had their turn.  Let the new Mommy have her time to enjoy the attention, especially first time Mommies.

Posted By Elizabeth on 13 Jul 2011 08:08 PM

Posted By lauren on 13 Jul 2011 01:54 AM
No No No I don't like it at all. So tacky. Not only do the grandparents normally have a the means to get the baby stuff they need but I feel like it takes away from the specialness of the baby shower for the actual mom.

How does it take away from the actual mom if the shower is thrown for the grandma by the grandma's friends? Those aren't the mom-to-be's friends, they're the grandma's friends. 

That's how I feel. If it doesn't conflict with the mother's baby shower, how does it take away from anyone? It's not like it truly detracts from actual motherhood or anything. 

A lot of assumptions are being made about the grandparents' abilities to pay for various baby-related things, too. That's just not always the case and shouldn't be used as a point against grandma showers, in my opinion.  

This just seems like something that shouldn't be judged unless you're part of the family involved, and know the situation and the people participating. Is it still tacky if 1) the mother is completely okay with it, 2) the grandma could use help from generous friends on essentials she'll need in case she needs to babysit, and 3) they're generally a family that celebrates everything, and this is just one more reason to have a good time with friends? There may be situations where a family member can only go to one shower, but that's a bit of a straw man, don't you think?

Basically, I think mountains are being made of molehills here. 

I think it's cute. Now I wouldn't expect cribs and furniture, but blankets, a playpen, a swing and the like would be really nice to have at Grandma's house (rather than lugging all the baby stuff to her house all the time).

I would LOVE a Grandma shower just so I can get the "World's Best NaNa" T shirts and all that fun stuff.

Wow, what will people come up with next? Puppy Parties? So someone that bought a puppy can celebrate and can get its shots and food paid for?

Totally OT..........but, my aunt never had kids. But she and her husband had their horse inseminated. So my mother had a 'Baby' Shower for my aunt. Only it was just in good fun, and my mother ordered all sorts of HUGE pacifiers, adult diapers, etc as decor.

I think it's cute. Now I wouldn't expect cribs and furniture, but blankets, a playpen, a swing and the like would be really nice to have at Grandma's house (rather than lugging all the baby stuff to her house all the time).

totally agree. I think it depends on the way in which the shower is given. I am sure that some end up sort of competing and taking away from the parents to be. But if it's Grandmas friends why not. Just because someone is older doesn't mean they can afford to buy all that baby stuff and I would think it would be a help to the parents to not have to haul around a bunch of stuff every time the kids go to the grandparents house.

If the grandparents'-to-be's friends want to celebrate the arrival of their first grandchild, why not. I would find it tacky if the grandparents requested is (as in, trying to collect presents). If I was pregnant I would find it sweet if my mom's friends were so happy for her they wanted to do a get-together in honor of my pregnancy. How would that take away from me?
Then again, the whole concept of baby showers is not something I'm very into. We don't have that tradition in Germany, so whatever floats everyones boats..

I can picture it being tacky with some of the MIL's I know. & mothers. I can also picture it being super cute, like if a mother-to-be is far away and grandma-to-be is having a hard time with it, so her friends throw her a shower. If your heart is in the right place, then it's adorable.