OKie dokie,

 Dh and I are in this little boxing ring lately. It's nothing that's causing problems,yet, but is annoying me a bit. He, his family (mil n dil), and guys from work say that were pretty much spoiling my 10 week old daughter because, I pick her up when she cries. However, I believe I'm actually building trust with her at this stage. I don't let her cry for long periods of time, or let her cry herself to sleep.........YET! 

 I understand people use the cry it out method, and thats fine! Imo I don't want to use that method until about 4 months old. I've done my research (books, t.v, internet...) and all resources pretty much said you can't spoil a baby, and 4 mos is when the bad habbits develop. Fruthermore, research has said you're bonding and building trust instead.  Don't get me wrong, I don't see anything wrong with letting baby cry it out (when all her needs are meet). However, as I said, I feel I'm not spoiling my baby but developing trust right now.

 I just get a bit annoyed when people say things like, "you're setting yourself up for a bad start", "you're going to spoil her"..and dh agrees. I try to tell him I use to think the same as he did until I started researching about it.

 What do you think about spoiling a baby? Anything on the topic is welcomed. If you were ever in my shoes, how did you deal with the people who made comments such as the ones above?

I agree with you, except I would not let my baby 'cry it out' prior to a year old. I did not have the heart to do it with my daughter until she was 18mo. My daughter cried PLENTY without me needing to 'make' her (best word I could think of lol). I had a very hard time when she was really little and she spent quite a bit of time in her room, in her crib, crying while I took a breather outside so that I wouldn't break down. This was needed for my sanity though, not to train her in any way.

I'm sorry your hubs isn't on the same page as you. I have a very aggressive personality myself and my husband is very laid back. As you can probably tell, I take the lead on pretty much everything when it comes to finances, daughter/children, chores, etc. He very rarely goes against my tide

The word 'spoil' drives me crazy. You can spoil your kid without them being brats. We spoil our daughter TONS with a lot of material things (thanks to the hubs... we're working on that) and our love, etc. She has the world at her fingertips and I see nothing wrong with that. We want what is best for her. She has chores, even at age three. She has her routine, she doesn't just get everything she wants, she has to earn some things (like with potty training, I didn't do any of that reward nonsense... her reward was my praise).

When people have ever made any comments about my parenting I just looked at them and said "okay". I know what is best for my daughter and most of the time people are just trying to be helpful based on their own personal experience. As long as you aren't looking to change how things are, then whatever to their comments.

For me, I wouldn't do crying it out until my baby is 2.... I agree, you are building trust with your baby. And she needs you. She is in this big ol' scary world. No, its not spoiling her. She needs you that way. She doesn't know how else to communicate. And I see nothing wrong at all with her even crying just 'cause! She is just figuring the world out... umm, where are the pics ma'am??? lol

Great! I'm happy I'm not the only one! I wanted to say I didn't want her to cry it out until 1yo but I didn't want people to judge me =S Her cries are soooo pitiful it breaks my heart + everyone who hears her cry... I have pix on Facebook!!

Look up Aundrea Pie and I should be there...

oh good!!!

I cant find you!

sending u a message

You all make me feel heartless! lol We switched the kids to their cribs at 6 months. I was no longer nursing so we saw no reason for them to sleep in our room after that point. When we switched we started letting them "cry it out" and it only took a couple of days before they would go right to sleep when we put them down. Whether it was naps or bedtime.

Auna, do what you feel is right for your baby. But I talk to your husband and "compromise" with him. Ask him to read some stuff that you have, help him to feel included in the decision.

well, even though I didn't do the cry it out thing until my daughter was 18mo (next time, it will probably be a lot closer to 1yr) She was sleeping in her own room since she was 5wks old.

You're not heartless! Plenty of parents let their babies cry it out and they turn out to be fine! lol...some even famous!! =P

lol The worst of it was that my mama and MIL were pushing me to do it and I didn't want to. I gave in, did it and THEN they were telling me how mean it was and they got mad at me!

I got this a lot when DD was little, I just ignored everybody. Letting her cry for a LONG period of time when she was super young wasn't for me. I say do what feels right. The mother intuition is the best.

I feel much better hearing I'm not the only one! Eod I think it's easier said than done!