By Allison Perkins

Kelli and Robert Hartley thought they had a pretty good birth plan in place. He deployed when she was 22 weeks pregnant, so the couple scheduled his rest and recuperation leave to begin a few days before her due date because, as she says, everyone knows your first baby always arrives late.

So much for best laid plans.

Hollis Robert Hartley made his debut 17 days early, 13 days before Daddy was due home.

And Kelli found herself alone, and in labor.

In that respect, Kelli is in good company. The military keeps no official records of how many babies are born during their father’s deployments, but Dr. Rodney Allen, OB/GYN at Womack Army Medical Center at Fort Bragg, N.C., guesses that roughly 25 percent of the hospital’s births occur while the father is deployed. Typically, about 250 babies are born at the hospital each month.

Having a parent gone during the emotionally charged and often physically taxing time means that mothers left home alone need to rely even more on friends and family.

“You can be your own best friend by trying to arrange for help in advance,” Allen says.

Asking for help isn’t always easy.

Kelli’s water broke just before 2 a.m. Several hours later, Kelli drove herself to the hospital. All the while, she was trying to contact her husband on the cell phone he carried in Iraq. Friends soon arrived to help her through the delivery.

“I am a hard-headed, stubborn person who hates asking for help,” Kelli says. “But I was so thankful that I had friends in the delivery room to hold my hand and help me celebrate the birth.”

Experts and new moms agree that accepting help is the best birth plan you can make. Many couples say they hope they can schedule inductions to insure Dad will be there, too.

However, Allen says medical inductions can be risky. And frankly, many medical staffs avoid what are called social inductions, done to fit the parents’ schedule.

Induced labor often requires more intense care for the patient and closer monitoring by staff. Allen says inductions also can prolong labor and increase the risk of complications.

Women shouldn’t rely on inductions,” he says. “Generally, we can only do them after 39 weeks and then only when the cervix is favorable.

“It sounds almost cold, but it’s not a good idea to plan medical care around the fact that your husband is away,” Allen says.

Couples should also not count on emergency leave. Officials said every request is different, based on the soldier’s situation.

Army wife Andrea Bouziane’s husband applied for emergency leave several times during his tour in Iraq as her pregnancy complications worsened. At 38 weeks, doctors asked for him to be sent home, because Andrea was diagnosed with clinical depression and high anxiety.

The second request came after Andrea had been in labor for 28 hours and after doctors decided her pelvic bone was too small for the baby to pass through. She was wheeled into surgery for an emergency cesarean section. During the procedure, Andrea’s uterus was cut, causing a serious infection. Andrea lost a large amount of blood and passed out just moments after her son was born.

When Andrea and her newborn were finally healthy and headed home, doctors ordered her not to drive, lift or bend. Without help at home, she had no choice but to ignore their demands.

Her husband was finally able to come home when Alexander Bouziane Jr. was almost 4-months old.

“It was very hard emotionally,” Andrea says. “We assumed if there were complications, he would get emergency leave, and it did not happen. My advice is if someone offers you help, let them help. Doing it alone the entire time will only make you sick and leave you drained mentally and physically.”