June 12, 2009 
By Sara Horn
It was the Fourth of July and I was by myself. While my son played outside in the sunshine with friends, my husband was serving on the other side of the world with his Navy Reserve battalion. And in my living room, there I sat, the curtains closed, staring blankly at a dark television screen. I was done. I was spent. Whatever energy I’d had at the beginning of our deployment was gone. There was nothing left to give.
Strength to a military wife is like oxygen to a scuba diver. It’s what we need to complete the endless list of tasks before us, especially in the midst of deployment. We need it to combat the expectations that we-and sometimes others-place squarely on our shoulders.
But like a tank of oxygen, strength can be depleted. And on that Independence Day, I learned the freedom that comes with the reminder that I am not alone. There is Someone else I can depend on, Someone I can trust to be in control when everything in my life feels like puzzle pieces on the floor—and I’m not sure if they’re all there.
Finding spiritual strength
“I don’t know what I would do without God in my life.” That’s a phrase I hear a lot from other military wives who I connect with through the organization I started, Wives of Faith. All of them have faced the same kind of feelings I experienced during our first deployment. Struggle. Loneliness. Worry. Fear. Frustration. But when you believe in God, you discover a peace that you would not have otherwise. Developing a relationship with God doesn’t mean life will be perfect – far from it – but it does mean you have a source of strength you can depend on to help you through the hard moments that life brings. The emotions will still come and go but your faith gives you a quiet confidence that no matter what happens, it will be okay.
Aracely is a brand new Army wife stationed in Texas (she and her husband married a week after he returned from his recent deployment to Iraq) but she says that while her then-fiance was away, God was the one she turned to.
“I had a lot of hard challenges here while he was gone and he wasn't able to be here to support me but I just leaned on God's word,” she told me. A favorite Bible scripture she held onto while her husband was away was Psalm 46:1 – “He is our refuge and strength; an ever-present help in trouble.”
As military wives, trouble can sometimes seem to follow us around, can’t it? And we often fool ourselves into thinking that we’re the only ones who must deal with it.
That day, sitting on my couch, I realized that my shoulders were stooped pretty low from all the weight I’d been carrying, worrying over things and trying to be and do way too much. I was so intent on handling things myself, that I’d forgotten to turn those troubles over to God. I prayed and asked God to help me remember that He was in control. My challenges didn’t all go away at once, but my outlook definitely got better. My relationship with God got closer, sweeter, and I no longer tried to do everything using just my own strength. Instead, I relied on God’s strength, and turned to Him when things felt out of control. And slowly, that feeling gradually went away.
Connect with God
One of the best ways for you to grow your relationship with God is to connect with other believers. It’s hard sometimes for military families to become active with a local church, especially if you’re PCS’ing every three years or so, but it’s still important. Ask other military wives you know where they attend church, and if you’re comfortable, ask to go with them to check it out. Take time to visit several churches in the area and then choose one to attend. If you can, find a church that offers a military ministry and join. You’ll find it comforting to connect with other military wives who share the same beliefs.
Join a group like PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel), CWOC (Catholic Women of the Chapel) or an off-post organization like Wives of Faith or MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers).
Take time to get to know God better by reading the Bible. Find an easy-to-read translation, like The Message or the New Living Translation. You’ll be amazed at how what you read will often apply to what you’re dealing with in life.
Keep a prayer journal and write your prayers to God just as you might write a letter. This sometimes helps when you’re not really sure what to say or you feel self-conscious or get nervous when it comes to prayer.
I have seen lives changed, marriages saved, and families restored when military wives take the time to develop their faith in God and put a priority on that spiritual relationship. If you’ve ever said “I can’t do this anymore” than let me encourage you to stop trying to do it by yourself. Ask God to help you today. He’s just a prayer away.
Sara’s new book, GOD Strong: A Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide, will be available in February. Contact her directly at sara@sarahorn.com.